That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
