i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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