He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
