Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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