Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You may now shotgun with the bride
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
