and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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