so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
