I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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