I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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