remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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