You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
