Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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