Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw a hot homeless man
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
