Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
