I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
