My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
