Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
