That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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