I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
