I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
