is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
