My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
