is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
