When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
