yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
