It's Friday. Sex?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
