how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
