i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
