his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
