I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
