True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just google imaged poop.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
