its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
