Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
