There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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