Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
