Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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