plz talk dirty to me
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
