my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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