Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
