i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
