I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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