Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
