R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
