why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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