One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
