your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
