I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
