She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
