its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
