I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
