so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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