One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
